Me ONLINE

Another fucking day of watching the kids…. its almost 5:30pm the almost 2 yr old hasn’t shut up mouth in 30 minutes. I call my mom to ask where she’s at, she should be home already… she hears him in the background.

“What are you doing to them!” in a tone like I’m making him cry. Yeah like I want to hear him fucking cry for 30 minutes straight. Fuck that I hung up on her. She called back all mad to never hang up on her… yeah she never tells my 18yr old sister that, who ALWAYS TALKED SHIT when she lived here when she was mad, and ALWAYS hung up on her. I told my mom yesterday yeah I’m good enough to babysit but when it comes to other things its like I don’t fucking exist.

These kids are spoiled, and cry cause they know they will get what they want. I’m not babying them, I ain’t gonna jump when they cry cause I don’t let them grab the cats and throw them like rag dolls, or cause I wont give them a cookie so they can just throw it at the cats, or anything that I know, I KNOW they don’t really need.

I swear this is driving me insane. THEY BETTER ALL LEAVE Sunday as planned. I need a day, a whole fucking day ALONE. No kids, no crying, no bullshit!

This last week has been a real pain in the ass… not much different from any other week lately though. Stupid bitch came back, then dad told her she had to do the dishes too, if she was gonna be staying here. Help out around the house, and if she couldn’t, that her dude could do them. She had a fit, and started fighting and yelling, telling my dad he was stupid if he thought her dude was gonna do the dishes.

She started arguing, and talking shit, and went outside yelling, “*her dudes name here* get my clothes, get everything!” she was gonna leave again. She’s so fuckin stupid. The neighbor across the street, who should mind her own damn business called the cops.

After she had left, they showed up, and my dad was ready to argue with them. They came in the house and looked to see if anyone was in here, hurt or something.

This was yesterday, Thrusday I think… I’m so sick I cant remember if it was Thursday or Wed.

Anyways she called yesterday to talk to the 5 yr old. Later he was sitting on the couch, and suddenly started crying. That it was our fault the cops came, that we called them. Apparently his bitch mother told him it was our fault, and that *I* started it! Because I had called my dad earlier. I gotten woken up by the 5 yr old around 10am, told him to get dressed for school. I put my alarm for 11:30pm to make sure they took him to school. They had been fighting, and her dude told the 5 yr old it was his own fault he was gonna be late… he is 5 years old, how the hell is he suppose to get himself ready? And feed himself etc? They are fuckin stupid!.

I banged on there damn door and started yelling at them. I was gonna take him to school, but they wouldn’t let him out…. so he was late until THEY got ready to take him. I told my dad, cause all they want to do is SLEEP!! They don’t take care of the kids, they dont change their diapers, (the 1, and 2 yr old), and they ALWAYS have boogers, cause they don’t give them medicine like they are suppose to.

Mom stayed home from work Thursday… ok then, yeah she did that fight on Wed. Mom stayed home Thursday, cause by then I was already sick too. Tried making a doctors appointment for all 3 kids, they could only see 1, so they saw the 1 year old. He has this thing called RSV Virus. He needs a breathing machine treatment 3 times a day…. (were suppose to bring it Thur, didnt get here til mid day today Firday)… and the other 2, we were told to give them Mortin.

Now the bitch called Thur and talked to the 5 yr old as I said. Apparently she also has told him she was gonna go at night, and for him to open the window… but the kids didn’t sleep in there. Cause they have that room so damn dirty, and they were sick, with fever, and colds, and the baby coughing so much, that the 1, and 2 yr old slept with my parents in their room so if they woke up, my mom would hear them. And the 5 yr old slept with me.

She and her dude came at 4AM!!!! They wanted to get some clothes, they have court today…. I don’t even think they went. Well she started arguing with mom that she wanted to see the kids… it was hard to get them to sleep, and the baby wasn’t sleeping right cause his cough, and the 2 yr old with her fever… my mom didnt want to wake them so she could leave them crying when she left.

She started screaming and yelling and slammed the front door. Then my yelled at her to stop. The bitch started screaming and yelling that they are her kids, and that we are keeping them from her. Mom told her if she cared about them she wouldnt be doing what she did, and keeps doing (i.e. leaving, doing drugs etc.) So imagine this psycho freak yelling at 4:30am. She tried to force her way in, but her dude stopped her, and threw her out. She started yelling that she was gonna kill herself etc.. Mom told her that, that proves she don’t care about her kids. She said she wasn’t gonna go to court, that she was gonna kill herself, etc.

By then, me and my now 18 yr old sister (turned 18 today), were awake. I had gone to bed at 3:30am. Got woken up by mom some 40min later.. didn’t go back to bed after that til 6:30am… then got up at 8:30am, so I didn’t sleep much. And keep in mind, I am sick. Sore through, ear ache, cold, cough, and when that bitch was here, I started to feel like I wanted to throw up. I cant even think of her without wanting to throw up. That’s how bad this is, that its making me sick.

She needs to get locked up, she’s an insane damn druggie. I don’t care if she does do what she says, mom got mad at me when I said I didn’t care if she killed herself, but the truth is I don’t care. I don’t care about her. If I don’t ever see her again, I dont care….but I doubt I’m that lucky to not have to see her again.

Seems that every post Im angry. Well, cause I am.

That stupid bitch came back today. She was hit by a car… so she says. I say she threw herself at the car. Many reasons that she could benefit from doing so. I’m pissed off severely.

No one takes into consideration my feelings. They go to me when they need me to watch the kids, etc. But when it comes to everything else, or when there mother is here, my parents don’t give a rats ass about what I think. Only when I come in handy to them.

I’m so angry. Ive been so angry this last year. So angry Ive gotten myself sick many times over it. But who cares right?

I feel so angry, so sad. More angry then anything. Why? Because of that bitch they call my sister. She left Sunday, and still isn’t here. Dad went after her Sunday night, and she rather go with some guy, go fucking whore herself with some dumb ass fuck head then be with her kids.

Do you know what its like to have you 5 year old nephew walk up to you holding a brush. A simple brush and have him tell you:

“You know what this reminds me of?”

“What?”

“My mom,” and have him walk off sad. I fucking hate her. I wish she was dead. If she would fall and die, I wouldn’t give a rats fucking ass. I wouldn’t know what to tell the 5 year old, but I wouldn’t care that she was dead.

Now her ex dude, who is still here… occasionally because now he takes off too. I told him that my mother said to tell that bitch to give her custody now. A paper notarized or something giving custody of the kids to her. And not to take of in my dads bike, and if he was planning on staying all night. He had the fucking nerve to tell me he was thinking about it, but now that we’re giving him attitude. Man it took all I had not to fucking slam his head into the wall. I told him we weren’t giving him attitude. That to us, he’s doing just what she is.

I don’t know how much more I can take of this. They want to leave, then fucking leave, and don’t come back. Leave and dont jump in once a week to make the 5 year old sad again once they leave.

Stupid bitch rather be with some dumb fuck guy then with her kids. I hate her, I hate her so fucking much.

I have so much hurt, anger, and sadness in me right now that I got fucking tears as I’m writing this from anger. I’m gonna explode, I’m gonna snap. This storm we’ve been in, is about to turn into a horrific tornado.

Lack of sleep… yet again, always the same. Not like I ain’t use to it, but lately I haven’t been sleeping right. My sisters kids dont let me sleep. Not at night, not in the day, not in the afternoon, not any time!!!

At night the baby bangs on the wall. The 2 year old likes to scream and yell all night ’cause she doesn’t want to go to sleep. The 5 year old the same as the 2 year old, but goes to sleep faster then the 2 year old. In the day they are all screaming. The 5 year old goes to school from Noon – 2:30, but he’s here in the day. In the afternoon there’s no way in hell I can take a nap. In the evening I usually don’t want to sleep, but even if I try to sleep around 7pm or something, to take a nap, I still cant cause the kids.

AND THEN when its not the kids… which is rare that its not, its my cat!!! Or a lot of times its the kids, AND the cat.

I’m getting frustrated more then I usually am.

I still haven’t been able to figure out how to add a avatar to my posts on here.

I also got some bill problems as well. I still cant get a damn job either. I think the fact I didn’t go to High School affected me in certain social skills you learn in High School. I got my GED though.

I want to go to college, but I am so scared, confused, and don’t know what to do.

I feel like screaming. I want to go somewhere away from everyone, and just yell until I get tired. Scream, yell, cry all I want until I get tired and fall asleep.

Last night the bitch went psycho again. She had the nerve to tell my mom and dad that its their fault she is screwed up. They failed in raising her. Bullshit. She’s just looking for someone to blaim when she gets thrown in jail. 1 week or so to go, until her court. Then one way or another she is GONE!!!

She called my dad someshit you dont call your dad, especially infront of him. My dad ran after her, I know he wanted to kick her ass, I did, my other sister did, we all want to. My mom was telling him to leave her alone.

He and my mom then got angry at each other cause my dad cant take it no more, and neither can my other sister or me.

My mom tried to leave, but my dad wouldnt let her get into the car.

We were all shouting, the whole fuckin neiborhood was outside watching this.

After my parents started fighting I walked right up to her face hoping she would hit me, so I could kick her ass.

I told her to leave, to get the fuck out of here. I told her she ruined everything, she fucked up, and that she could go to hell, get locked up, or die, I didnt give a crap. I told her how its her fault everything is how it is right now.

She tried to use the line, “Yeah I sold drugs, I had to make money to keep my apartment for my kids!” Stupid bitch. I told her, yeah what you couldnt get a JOB!!!

So now the whole neighborhood knows us as, “the family with the druggy.”

Instead of me talking about how yesterday I took my nephew on his field trip to a Dairy Farm full of cows and crap. Maybe the crap was a sign on how crap would hit the fan later today.

She left after standing outside yelling on her own, after we came into the house.

Around 11:30 she came back with her dude. I was trying tog et the 2 and 1 year old to sleep. As was my mom, she came out when she woke up hearing the 2 year old crying. She never NEVER wants to go to sleep. She rather be up running around at 3am.

They came back… my parents didnt tell her to leave. After all she said, did, THEY STILL LET HER BACK IN!!!!!

I WANT HER GONE! IN JAIL! DEAD! I DONT GIVE A FLYING FUCK!!

I cant take this no more. My 5 yr old nephew is gonna flunk Kindergarten cause his bitch of a mother doesnt help him with his work. Doesnt make him do it. And when we try she starts shit to leave him alone, that she’s gonna help him, BUT SHE DOESNT!!

SHE DOESNT DO ANYTHING BUT WRECK PEOPLES LIVES!! HER KIDS LIVES!!

Ive been getting my chest pains 100% more then I had been. And now they are different kinds of chest pains, not like the ones I had been getting. She’s gonna end up fucking killing me. Right now, 12pm, over 15hrs when this argument went down, and my chest hurts.

She keeps her kids locked in the room with her, trying to make them sleep all fucking day so she can sleep. Another reasonw hy the 2 year old never wants to sleep at night.

I cant take this shit. Its fucking killing me.

Stupid Bitch left new years eve, its the 3rd now, and still isnt back. Her dude left a little bit ago, leaving the kids asleep in the room alone. I was about to go to sleep, cause I wanted to go see Lord of the Rings : Return of the King in the morning, but guess I wont be going… again.

Since it came out, I havent been able to see it, cause of this bitch. Right now my mom is asleep on the couch with my niece who woke up. She wont go with me, cause my mom has her spoiled, so she only wants to go with my mom.

My mom had 3 weeks off, X-Mas break, she worked one of them for more money, and the other 2, she still hasnt stopped. Hasnt rested cause of the idiote bitch. But she dont care, she dont tell her shit. So she’s gonna keep doing what she is doing til she gets locked up. I dont care if they lock her up, either way, I dont want her here.

Almost 3 am right now. I havent even updated the rest of my site. I dont have time to with all this shit going on. And there is something EVERYDAY.

So far this year isnt starting off great. But neither has the others been great, so why expect this year to be diff hu?

Its New Years Eve, and instead of posting right now what I had planned to, about going to Tucson Mon. and Tues., Im going to rant about tonight.

The stupid bitch that is my sister took off again. I went after her on my dads bike, but she had a 4 car lead on me, and when she turned the corner, once I reached it, she wasnt in sight. She had to have ducked into an alley. I had to stop at a corner for a car, so that also gave her more of a lead.

Instead of being with her kids, she takes off. I hope they do lock her ass up in jail. I hate her, I dont just not like her, I HATE her. HATE!! HATE!!! FUCKIN HATE!!!! WITH A PASSION!!!

I wait for the day she putts her hands on me, so I can kick her ass. I hate her. I dont care what happens to her, I hope they lock her up. I hope her kids forget who the hell she is, because they are better off without her.

My parents had gone to the casino, but came back, cause my other sister told them I took off after her. So they get home, and yell at who? ME. My dad himself has said we need to follow her. And when I do, he gets mad? WTF is that!

I cant take this shit much longer. I cant take being yelled at, or getting ignored, because they are mad at her. They take it out on me, and my other sister.

The stupid bitch can come and go, and leave her kids as she pleases, but we cant even go around the fuckin corner? Im gonna be 20 in March, and I still had to deal with this shit. I rather be fuckin dead.

I count the days til her court day, and hope she gets locked up, and I dont have to see her stupid face ever again:redx: :angry: :redx: